Posts Tagged With: leadership

058 – The Other Side of the Table

As human beings, we live most of our lives around other human beings. We’re neighbors, fellow bus or subway passengers, colleagues, mutual victims of rush hour, friends, and family to hundreds if not thousands of other people. And yet, very rarely do we spend much time considering these people through any lens that doesn’t also go through us. Are they looking at me? What does he think of me? Does this person see me as competent? Do they think I’m confident? Is everyone laughing at me or with me? And because we spend so much time thinking about ourselves, how wonderfully refreshing and uplifting it is when other people think about us, too! It’s like they really get us!

This simple reality is the key to one of the most underutilized-yet-powerful win-win scenarios we could ever put ourselves in. In our dealings with other people, if we can just stop thinking of ourselves briefly- momentarily- just for a second- and consider the person on the other side of the table from us, we effectively get up, walk over, and get on their side of the table. And all of a sudden we can begin to understand each other and can actually work together toward a common goal or interest.

The beautiful thing about this strategy is that you don’t even have to be subtle or sneaky about it! I’ve frequently expressed to other people, verbatim, “I want to do my best to get on your side of the table and understand where you’re coming from and where you’re trying to go.” This has got to be the most noble sort of manipulation there is; you’re tricking people into allowing you to help them get what they want quicker, better, faster, easier than they could have on their own.

“But Jared,” someone who isn’t as wise as you might whine, “how is that win-win if it’s all about the other person getting what they want?”

That’s the other not-so-secret secret about this whole concept. For it to really, truly work, you’ve got to flat out, no exceptions, unconditionally care about the other person. If you’re thinking about how you can help them so that they’ll help you, or trying to maneuver around or through them for your own end goal, you’re thinking about it all wrong. However, when you really care about that person and what they want and need, then getting on their side of the table and understanding their motivations and their thought processes so that you can help them follows as the next logical step in the process. And when you really care about helping them get what they want, then it becomes something that you want, too. All of a sudden, you’re working together, you’re moving in the same direction, and when you reach that goal, it’s a win-win for both of you.

So, here’s to the table-hoppers who are constantly jumping from booth to booth, sitting down next to other people, and coming alongside them in the spirit of camaraderie and helpfulness. Let’s never forget that for every time we wish the person across from us would think more about what we want, there’s another person looking at us and thinking the same thing.

Categories: community, personal development, success | Tags: , | 1 Comment

055 – The Fallacy of Expertise (or Why Millennials Might Not Suck)

“Now, don’t get me wrong. Expertise has an important place in any advanced economy, but we’ve taken it so far that even many of the best experts are highly dependent on other experts for anything outside their specialty. The result is that people defer to the experts on almost anything, so getting the 10 percent to lead in government is  a major challenge, because business leaders will always wonder why the political experts don’t just do it.”

-Leadershift, by Orrin Woodward and Oliver DeMille

The point that Woodward and DeMille make here in Leadershift is a big one. In reading that paragraph this morning, I found myself drawing comparisons with my own experience, both in the corporate world and in my social circles. What I would like to postulate here is that perhaps some of the Millennials whom everyone apparently thinks are terrible, are actually just very useful generalists stuck in an economy and a culture that doesn’t know how to use them because they aren’t experts in any small niche.

Now, don’t misunderstand me. There are some Millennials who are definitely not stepping up to the plate. Anyone who neglects the “hard work” step of the “follow your heart and do what makes you come alive” process of living one’s life, or who thinks that now that they’ve got a degree, they should have a job, is clinging far too closely to a credentialist view and is well overdue for a study in meritocracy (that is, being judged based on one’s performance and results as opposed to the titles or degrees one has).

But there are some folks around my age who have degrees in things like “Communications”, “Interdisciplinary Studies”, or in my case, “Comparative Cultures and Politics.” These degrees don’t necessarily fit square peg in square hole with jobs in the corporate world. (Bing “Communicator Jobs”, “Interdisciplinarian Salary”, or “Jobs for Culture and Politics Comparer” and you’ll see what I mean). But what a lot of these folks have, that isn’t spelled out letter for letter in their degree, is a wide-angle lens that’s been keenly developed by studying something that isn’t as much the ABCs as it is a can of alphabet soup, with which they’ve been allowed to do with what they please. These people may not be able to design, build, and launch a rocketship, but they can put together the right team to do it, and they can probably manage the whole project cradle to the grave, because they can see the way it’s all supposed to happen. More importantly, the Millennials with all these silly, vague degrees often understand the “why” of doing things, in addition to the how.

No doubt, this creates tension between employers who are looking for specialists to come in and do a specific task and Millennials who know THAT they can do, but may not know WHAT to do just yet. And I would argue that their feeling of confusion and apprehension isn’t altogether their fault. They’ve been trained to succeed in ways that our current economy doesn’t always know how to handle. But consider this: were you a company, would you rather hire someone with a set of individual skills, or someone who has learned how to learn skills and is adaptable? If you’re a huge, gigantic company that’s been around since the stone age, you’ll probably go for the specialist. And that’s not inherently wrong. They’ll probably be great at what they do. But if you opted for the more adaptable, wide-lens generalist, you’d have someone that will probably be great at what they do, and will have a good handle on what a lot of other people in your organization do as well.

Now, I’m not saying that Millennials with pointless-sounding degrees should be hired in droves because they can all do everything. That would be ridiculous. What I am saying is that if most hiring decisions are made on the basis of qualifications (credentials), and most firing decisions are made on the basis of character (merit: lack of work ethic, morals, teachability), then maybe it’s time to give a shot to the people who have the character to learn and adapt, even if they don’t have a degree with the same name as the job posting. We’ll probably find that the generalists who understand “why” things are done just as much as the how, and who have a good grasp on the organization itself, its goals and its fit in the world, make for better long-term business partners because they can more easily align with the purpose of an organization and come alongside it to take ownership of the cause. After all, aren’t most people who hate their jobs really just lacking in purpose and fulfillment? If our organizations looked at “why” just as much as “how”, and we hired people who did the same, wouldn’t we all feel more fulfilled and have more purpose? Again, just postulating here.

As to Woodward and DeMille’s point about leading in government, what they’re really talking about is top leaders in society taking ownership for watching the government to make sure they aren’t overstepping their bounds (something that we do sorely need in this country). But I would go as far as to say that we need people taking that sort of ownership at all levels of our society, and that perhaps Millennials are starting to do it. We do live in an age where information is just a click away (the determination of its quality, much more distant), and internet activism to the tune of “Facebook likes” for change, but it’s a start, even if a misguided one. Even if it’s just because they have nothing else to do, or because they don’t have a “why” in their role as a Junior Assistant Flippity Flop at XYZ Services, Inc, there are Millennials paying attention to “stuff” and doing “things.” Even if they can only digest serious, high-concept issues in the form of lists of GIFs on Buzzfeed, Millennials want to feel like they know what’s going on and they want to feel like they’re doing something to make the world a better place. They’ve seen the world of experts with blinders on, toiling away as Senior Executive Flippity Flops at XYZ Services or Founder and CEO of MNO Tech (XYZ Services’ competitor, founded by a former Senior Executive Flippity Flop at XYZ, fed up with feeling underappreciated and undervalued in her old role). They’ve been told that they should go to school, get good grades, get a degree, and get a safe, secure job, and follow that same path, and they asked “why?”. They’re looking for more. And I would go as far as to say that if they can leverage their vagueness and indecision and frustrating apathy with things that credentialists think matter, then maybe they can dig out their own, wide-lens, community-based niche in the economy and rise up as conscious leaders in a country that needs more people who understand why we do things, and not just how.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: | Leave a comment

047 – The Most Comfortable Pillow

I was recently asked by my good friend and mentor Larry Allswede to write a blog post on the concept of comfort. When should a person be comfortable? When should they be uncomfortable? And where is the balance between the two?

In thinking on comfort, the first place that my mind came to was the quote attributed to Benjamin Franklin –

”Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security [comfort] will deserve neither and lose both.”

Well. That’s a pretty bold statement on when it’s not okay to be comfortable! Comfort that is gained through the sacrifice of liberty is clearly a no-go. But Benjamin Franklin didn’t live in the time of Facebook and Twitter, cable television and Siri in our pockets. Benjamin Franklin was actually foreshadowing exactly what our society has done since the start of the industrial revolution! Benjamin Franklin was essentially predicting, by the warning that he gave, that American society would give up its liberty to gain security! I’d stand up and be outraged at his audacity, but my lay-z-boy is far too comfortable, and the next episode of The Jersey Shore is about to come on…

So. Benjamin Franklin correctly predicts that America will give up its liberty to be comfortable. But what he didn’t prepare us for was the fact that by nature of giving up our liberty for comfort, we’ve stopped teaching the principles that help us secure and protect that liberty. So, what are five things we can do to relearn those principles? Well, some of it might involve becoming a little bit uncomfortable…

Continue reading

Categories: Growth, leadership, Liberty | Tags: , , | 2 Comments

Blog at